A Heathen's Perspective

From politics to media, from music to spiritual matters, and from obscure issues to the latest hot button topics, comes the blabber from a true heathen, without regard to the breaking wind of socially-acceptable attitudes, yet with an almost sacred devotion to humor in the face of today's polarized, shout-down-your-opponents climate of fear and intimidation. Original content is copyright 2001-2006, The Heathen Monk. All rights reserved.

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Location: Austin, Texas, United States

Unless otherwise noted, the content of this Weblog is Copyright 2001-2007, The Heathen Monk. All rights reserved. Some material may have been assigned to The Human Trust, 2004-2007. A Custom Search Engine is now available, and will be updated as time goes by: Kindred Sites Search Engine ~

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Looking Forward to This Year's State of DysFunction Address


Gosh, it seems like just a year ago when The Boy reported to Congress and the American people on the state of the union. Today, as we watch the same, tired techniques of equating dissent with treason, co-opting programs they've done their best to kill for years, and working ever so hard to bolster those polls before Ken Lay goes to trial and Jack Abramoff gives up the goods, the Supreme Court reviews Tom DeCay's second round of gerrymandering in Texas, the effects of leaving Sharon to unilaterally decide the fate of the "road map to peace," only to have a major stroke, followed by the surprising Hamas victory in the Palestinian territories, oil and gas pipelines blowing up in Georgia during one of its coldest winters, Iran thumbing its nose at us, and all of the "progress" we've made dealing with North Korea, you remember, part of the "Axis of Evil" that came out of the blue during a previous State of the Union address...well, I can't help but take a look back at last year's Address and have a looksee at how many proposals have come to fruition since then:

Last year's post on Wubya's Address

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One of my favorite, forgotten programs was the Laura Bush, GangBuster! program BoyGeorge put forth last year. Thank goodness we've solved THAT problem!

And I know we're all just as pleased as punch that our pwezeedent has lived up to his famous quote last year:

"The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else."

Yessir, and it's so heartwarming to see how the Drugstore Cowboy has reformed Social Security, the centerpiece of his second term. Hell, look at the beautiful job he and Congress did with the Medicare prescription bill! I don't think you can call that a mess, when only two dozen or so states had to pass emergency bills to make sure poor people didn't die because the federal bill, written by lobbyists most likely, just didn't seem to address their needs. No, it seems it was more important to add a new layer of bureaucracy that won't even allow for competition in purchasing bulk amounts of drugs from the drug companies. Wow, such innovation!

About the only thing that's come true since last year's Address is the state of the Judiciary. He wanted pro-life, executive branch-friendly, who gives a shit about checks and balances judges ~ and he damn well got 'em! Yippee! I can't wait to see how the Supremes behave for the next 25 years.

And so, dear readers, if, like me, you have a tough time even looking at that scrunched up mouth and that kindergarten teacher's approach to public speaking, you can count on me to download his Address from the official site, and bloviate over the BlowHard's Big Picture for 2006. Maybe this year Laura can have a sit down with all the major meth lab bigwigs in the country, and convince them to just say "no" to meth and "yes" to Pell Grants! Oops ~ we might have an itty bitty problem with funding these poor, unfortunate souls. Oh well, at least they're still livin' large on K Street.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Having Fun & Access Going Lo-Tech


I suspended my DirecTV at the start of 06. Please, no hushed gasps! Yep, and down at the sweet little thrift shop I found a beautiful glass (for use in the parlor, pleez!) kerosene lamp with a new wick! Wouldn't ya know, HDepot carries Klean Heat, a fine kerosene alternative. And I live near the big hills where all the local broadcast towers are, and now that they're having to upgrade those towers to carry analog and HDef signals simultaneously, I get as good a broadcast signal as Austin's TimeLifeWarnerCableDigitalThingy. And yes ~ it's free!

What do I really miss? Why, Jon Stewart and The Daily Show of course. Don't miss CSPAN, because I can stream its audio, INCLUDING CSPAN 3. Don't miss Democracy Now with Amy Goodman, cuz I can stream her show as well. Don't miss those pesky $60 per month satellite TV bills. Don't mind knowing that Rupert Murdoch and NewsCorp have one less subscriber as they maintain a virtual monopoly on global satellite television networks. Naw, that doesn't bother me at all. I could give a flying flea's fart!

So, I keep my sweet little Grundig radio tuned to KUT FM (of course, I could stream KUT at kut.org), and listen to ESPN radio when an NFL game is on cable. To me, it's like listening to the Tigers win the 68 World Series on my NEW transistor radio!

And, as for privacy and data mining, I'm not concerned. As an individual and a sole proprietor, I simply went to PGP (Pretty Good Privacy) and paid for the software necessary to obtain a lifetime license (about $60.00). Now, if the NSA decides to peek in on my email, they'll have to go find out whether or not I've published my Public Key to the worldwide PGP Directory, and then they'll need to decrypt my email in order to find out whether or not that particular email was encrypted using my Public or my Private PGP key. If I used my Private key, well...too friggin' bad for the NSA!

I've also begun to change my method of payment habits. Sometimes I'll use cash, sometimes a check, sometimes a credit card, and sometimes an automatic bank draft. And I might use any combination of the above to buy anything from a BlogShares coffee mug to a thumbdrive to a pair of OshKosh B'Gosh overalls. Is he a geek? A stock broker having some fun? A farmer? Who IS this mystery man? Is he a man at all? Look, he just started a complimentary subscription to Vogue...hmmm...Aha! It's a geeky SheMale who left the big city to start an organic tomato farm! Yeah, That's The Ticket!

Pffffffft!

Feel free to bookmark HMonk: Sites Worth a Visit and start discovering how much fun you can have with a dialup, free TV, and a candle ~

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Jack Splat ~ The FatCats' Pajamas!


Like Jagger sang in "Street Fighting Man,"..."tell me what can a poor boy do, 'cept to sing for a rock & roll band," what can a poor SuperLobbyist do 'cept to sing for Uncle Sam? Oh Jack ~ we hardly knew ye...come to think of it, we hardly knew what you were up to.

Jack Abramoff, once the King of K Street, has a tough decision to make, now that his co-defendant, Adam Kidan, has begun to unload his own gordian knot of Tales From the BackRoom. Oh, but that's not the whole story, now is it, Jack? Before Mr. Kidan went and Konfessed, there was someone else, in a separate but related court case, now wasn't there? What WAS his name?!

OH! I remember now ~ Michael Scanlon! You remember Mikey, doncha? The former aide to Tom DeCay, ya know..."The Hummer?" Yeah, seems the smiling fella under the umbrella has already spilled his guts. Why, lookie here, Jack - you even made the pages of Science Daily.

As we gently begin our FanTabulous New Year, I just KNOW Jack Splat will do "everything within his power" to come Klean, and do the "right thing." At least, that's what the Houston Chronicle and others are expecting to happen this week.

Gosh, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy, Jack. You've just ensured the complete meltdown of the Republican leadership. The Democrats didn't do it (cuz so many of them are, well - chickenshits). The Media didn't do it (they're still learning how to read from a teleprompter). They're all still catching up to you, Jack. YOU, JACK! You're my hero!

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And here's how I suspect things will come down between now and 2008:

Oh, it's gonna be a rough mid-term election for "Bush Country" Republicans up for reelection. My, my, my...it could even change the balance in the Senate! Goodness gracious me, who's gonna be there to stymie all the investigations, huh?

The Republican majority in the House is sure to get a bit slimmer. And the BlowHards are gonna have to tone things down between now and November. What a cryin' shame.

Should November turn out to be the nightmare I've always dreamed it would be, I believe that The Dick will decide to resign the Vice Presidency sometime in early 2007, for "health reasons," much like folks did way back in them Soviet Union daze.

In a final attempt to display "integrity and leadership," I imagine that BoyGeorge will appoint someone like, say...Senator Elizabeth Dole. Ah yes, the woman who helped ruin the American Red Cross. You remember Libby's Oprah-like, staged informal chat session with all the friendly folks at the 1996 Republican Convention, don't you? It was sooooooooo realistic, in a kind of unrealistic way. And finally, I look forward to that day in January, 2009, when The Boy limps out of office, stops by Crawford on his way to Kennebunkport, and maybe stops for High Mass, has a taste of The Blood, and won't let go of the communion tray, popping shot after shot of that sacred wine, finally losing it, and running from the cathedral shouting, "The Power of Krist Compelled Me!"

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So, thanks Jack. You're a real pal...(ahem)... WERE a great pal.

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UPDATE: 12:30 p.m., CST ~

Abramoff pleads guilty

In the words of sportscaster Barry Tompkins, "How do you like it? HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!" Oh ~ somebody PINCH ME! Lookie here at what the LA Times reported a short time ago:

(by LATimes staff writer, Walter F. Roche, Jr.)

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" Abramoff's plea opens up the prospect that he could begin unraveling for prosecutors a web of ties with members of Congress that has for weeks kept officials Washington on edge.

Abramoff would presumably present evidence about favors he provided to some members of Congress and their aides."

Copyright 2006 Los Angeles Times. All rights reserved. Used here for contextual purposes only.

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Read all about it in the Los Angeles Times.

Whee!...

Monday, January 02, 2006

To The Board of Directors, A.S.P.O.A., and Pioneer Property Management Company, as of Jan. 7th, 2006

It's January 7th, do you know what day it is? I'm terribly sorry, but time's run out for any friendly negotiations regarding the ASPOA's 2005 Annual Meeting ballot, especially concerning the "ASSESSMENT" that, for the first time in Apache Shores' history, was billed on a PER LOT basis, rather than a PER IMPROVED LOT basis. From today forward, please remember that any communication between The Apache Shores Property Owners Association and/or Pioneer Property Management Company MUST be lawyer-to-lawyer, as far as dealing with yours truly is concerned.

Forgot to bookmark the old Apache Shores Warrior page? NO PROBLEM!

THE APACHE SHORES WARRIOR

Thank yew...

HMonk

UPDATE, DECEMBER, 2006: After reviewing the assessment by the ASPOA on a "per lot" basis with my attorney, I've discovered that that the vote to change from "per improved lot" as clearly spelled out years prior to the above-mentioned vote on a "per lot" basis may indeed be what is legally referred to as a "contractual issue." If that's true, and it carries any weight, there may still be a chance to throw the "per lot assessment" right out the back door, and I'll be more than glad to stand there and keep the door open...JW

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(note: original post date changed to make "Jack Splat" listed as most recent)

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