Save The Sperms!
I've been searching and searching for some way to fit into this faith-based, anti-abortion, "they hate us for our freedom" world BoyGeorge & The Dick have created and promoted for the rest of us. And then it hit me! I thought back to Justice Sunday and the conservative Catholic leader who gave such a stirring speech, especially for a blowhard like him - and realized that the real answer to when life begins is in the very seed of life itself! Praise Gawd!
So, how do we solve this dilemma? Friends, it's so very easy. Write a Constitutional Amendment that BANS VASECTOMIES in all cases (except of course in the event it endangers the man's life), and urge all state legislatures to enact laws making it illegal not only for the male to masturbate, but to engage in nocturnal emissions as well. Yep, you heard me. ARREST WET DREAMERS! After all, spilling the seed of life is a crime, isn't it? Preventing the gift of the seed of life is a crime, isn't it? That's what some people's versions of the Good Book say. Gosh, they must be "right." So join me, won't you, and let's help spread the seed the way the Good Lord intended us to! By marital sex in the missionary position, with only the intention to produce a child. The prostate be damned! The discovery of male puberty be damned! Dirty dreams be damned! Let's all get together and cleanse our perverted society!
It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? I mean, if we can legislate control over a woman's reproductive life, what's to stop us from legislating male fertility? Who says the Engorgement Brigade can't bust into someone's bathroom and arrest a man engaged in flagrant jackoffedness? Or check the sheets of a 13 year old to see if he's broken Gawd's law during the night? We MUST protect the seed!
So please join me in picketing all of those nasty vasectomy clinics, won't you? And parents, send those soiled sheets to the police. Wives and mothers, check those trash bins and look under the bed for soiled socks. Turn your man in. Let's not let another precious drop of life-giving fluid go unmurdered! Just think of the children ~
Join me at seedoflife.nut and help us Save the Sperms. In today's climate of fear and intimidation, it's the right thing to do for real Kristians everywhere!
posted by The Heathen Monk | 3:35 AM
7 Comments:
bwahahahahahaha....it's about damn time, i say!!!:O) peace, bunkie.
"http://beckig-unit.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/sperm3.gif"
NO NO NO!!! This time my good friend you've taken it tooooo far. You are taking the only thing that Democracy has to offer me away. I beseech you to please retract this article quickly. My dreams are now in the hand(s) of people who have no right to decide how I abuse my body. Isn't it bad enough that they put sin taxes on my ciggies and booze. Now you want them to ban a intricate part of my right to live. Hmmmmm, that does, sound familiar doesn't it? Aw what the hell. I'm really too old to care that much anyway.. God ahead. If I had a smiley face I would insert it here :>) ED
here's a logo for your fight monk!:O)
http://www.freeimghosting.com/images/bunked/sperm3.gif
Tee hee hee hee! Guess that would be good for the environment, too! No more condoms to dispose of.
Lol! Thank you for a good laugh!
"Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great;
For every sperm that's wasted
God gets quite irate."
Here endeth the lesson
Great post! When one deduces things in the way you describe, it's obvious that, beyond the abortion debate, we're already making the decision to prevent potential life on many different levels. Whether one likes it or not, we (humans) are already making those decisions and it's not in the domain of what one may or may not perceive as a dictate from God. From this perspective, if one is opposed to abortion, one also should be opposed to birth control of any kind, as well as masturbation, etc., because they all are preventing potential life. Absurd, most would say, and yet it lays bare the contradiction inherent in opposing one and not having a problem with the other. If one is consistent, one must face the fact that, at their most basic level, they're one and the same, and there's simply no escaping that.
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