The Drugstore Cowboy Goes a Mendin' Fences

Howdy! How ya'll doin' out here in ol' Europe? Good to seeya. France put on a fine spread in Brussels. Sure was good eatin' too! Did you folks hear me when I said how important a strong Europe is to America and all? Allrighty then. Well, I hate to eat and run, but I need to head on over to Slovakia and "look into the soul" of my buddy Putin. Now, I know he's put an end to the free press and all, but hell, so have we, so what's the big deal? We're gonna talk about how freedom is good, and how everyone who doesn't agree with me and the PNACers hate us for our freedom. I'll probably have to do a little dressin' down with Pootie in public, but he'll understand. After all, I'm a statesman now - ain't that somethin' ~

Let's take a look at the fences that need mending, shall we?

Under BoyGeorge's watch we've:

Walked away from the Kyoto Accords and various treaties that were just plain inconvenient for our "new" Doctrine of Preemption. Now our own leaders have to watch where they travel so they won't be arrested for war crimes.

We labeled France and Germany "Old Europe," endearing us to them like an angry, drunk stepfather.

We told the UN to basically go to hell. Now THAT'S what I call bold diplomacy!

We lied, and lied, and lied again to our own citizens and the world about Iraq, "an ally of Al Qaeda," then later said with a straight face that we "never said there was a connection between Iraq and September eleventh." Then we went to war without an exit strategy.

We called for an independent Palestinian State, while winking at Sharon as he built his security wall and targeted Palestinians for assassination, including an old leader in a wheelchair.

We told North Korea to wash their hands and come to the dinner table with our buddies or face the consequences.

Now we're saber rattling our way into the next skirmish with Iran, who's linking up with Syria for self defense.

We may have cooked the books in the Iraqi election to prevent a Shiite majority, but of course, if we did that, we did it in the name of democracy.

We began the privatization of our own voting process while Ukraine threw out the fraudulent leaders who tried to hold onto power.

We concentrated on gay marriage, "intelligent design," dismantling social security, making tax cuts for the wealthiest among us permanent, and taking class action lawsuits away from the states in order to better protect corporations. We did all of this under the banner of "values."

The list goes on and on, and my fingers are starting to blister, so forgive me if I left out a few issues heralded as part of The Boy's "vision" for America. But I will say this - When it comes to mending fences, you're pretty much shit out of luck once you've demonstrated that you have absolutely no respect for your neighbors' property lines, not to mention their mineral rights.

p.s. Feb. 23rd: As part of his "fence mendin' ways" The Boy made this startling statement in Brussels -

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous," Bush said after meeting with leaders of the European Union. "And having said that," he added, "all options are on the table."

We love you, we love you not...KABOOM!

p.p.s. Feb. 23rd: Aw, golly gee, BoyGeorge cancelled the "town hall" meeting in Germany when it was learned that some questioners might go "off script." What's a fence mender to do?
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Quote from IndyStar comes from a story by David Jackson, The Dallas Morning News, and is assumed to be the copyrighted material of its rightful owner, used here for contextual purposes only.